Monday, December 19, 2011

1 Corinthians 7

"The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. "
 "And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life."

So I was looking through 1 Corinthians and found some things that stood out and I thought was good. I know that the first quoted portion is talking about the sex life in a marriage, but I feel it can be play into the whole marriage as well. And it actually says at the end "whether in bed or out." So i know that this is something that contains to all areas of marriage! I think that as humans, we are naturally selfish. We want what we want, and a lot of times try and focus on ourselves to the point of failing to see what someone else may need from us. We do this in so many situations. We see this when walking down the street and see someone with nothing, but we don't help because we have a tighter week. Or we see this in friendships, where one person is giving all and calling the other and the one isn't doing what they should do as a friend. Relationships, of any kind, are a two way street. This is the case for marriage too! 
The first part that I quoted says that the marriage bed is a place of mutuality!! It is a place for two to come together as one, and think not of their own needs but of the needs of the other person. In life when married, you need to satisfy each other. Marriage is a partnership, it isnt a "what can I get out of this deal" type thing. It is a place where there is mutual love, mutual respect, and mutual bond. You cannot come to a marriage thinking only about yourself and how the other person is going to help only you. You need to come to a marriage and think "how can we add to each other's life", "How can we help each other", "what does my partner need from me". This is the word of God speaking, and I love this next portion. It says that marriage is not a place to stand up for your own rights. We see this in life today. Everyone has something to say and stand up for. That can be good, because there is a lot of good that is being neglected in this world, but a marriage is not a place to stand up for your own rights.You need to think of the other person as well, and how things will affect them. you are joined together as one unit. They are apart of you, and thinking how something will affect them is like looking out for your own body in a way! When you look out for the other person, and the other person sees that, it spurs them on to take care and look out for you! Which is a mutual and reciprocal love and respect and you know that you always have someone who will look out for you and your interests. But if you only seek to look out for yourself with out thinking about your spouse, it will spur them on to look out for themselves and this is a way to get disconnected from the person who you promised your life to! 
Marriage is a CHOICE and decision to serve the other person. This goes both ways. Yes as man and woman we need to serve each other in different ways but it is always about serving. It says in the Bible to become the greatest you have to become the least: a servant to all. So this principle goes to serving others out in the world as well, but in the marriage it is key! You need to serve each other, but a big part of this is knowing HOW to and what to do. Know what the other one likes, what they want, and how to give that to them. But when you make the effort to do that, the other will do the same in response to it! Marriage is a place to be together and to love each other through it all. I have learned a lot lately, and have gained valuable wisdom. This has been one. I know that as a human we can all struggle with this, but I saw a little while ago that as a wife, I need to serve my husband, and try and be there for him through it all, and try to serve him and please him how ever I can. I hope that it is being seen as that. I don't ask, but I pray that I always think of my husband first, because I know that in doing so I will please God. 

The next portion i liked as well. so i added it here, it speaks on marriage too, its from the same chapter just farther down. I think that everyone at some point in time in life wants to run. Not necessarily run from their spouse but from a situation that has come up. it is easier to run than to deal with things at times. But we need to remember that we can get through and that there is a reason that you are with your spouse! It say to not wish that you were someplace else or with someone else. I think this is a good statement because I am sure that a lot has said this over time. It is kinda like the saying "the grass is greener on the other side." but a lot of times... its not! There is a reason you are with your spouse, there is a reason you fell in love with your spouse, and sometimes you need to go back to the basics and remember WHY!! They do have a lot of good characteristics and things to offer to you, you just need to focus on the good things, and stop looking at why they bug you. lol. Little annoyances seems bigger than what they actually are at times.... This person is good because...... you fell in love with this person because..... (you fill in the blank!)  Look past the annoyances, look past the petty arguments, look past to the things they are not good at, and look at what is good about that person, and what drew them to you in the beginning!! "live and obey and love and believe right there!" Live with that other person, love that other person through it all, and believe that there is a reason you two are together. and it says obey. Gods words are true! obey God in the way you love, obey God why you love, and obey God by not giving up. (yes there maybe other circumstances that surround your situation but i am just being more general right now....) also BE THERE! If you want it to work! BE THERE! Try! Be seen! God defines us! We need to take His words to heart and keep going sometimes. We need to do our part in a marriage and show a mutual love and respect to the one we are with, by doing so we are showing God's love and obedience to His word!! I liked this portion and I know that everyone can learn from this portion of scripture, since it can go past a marriage relationship to friendship or how we see others and treat others. We need to show an unselfish kind of love to all!  I hope that this helps someone. I know that it has helped me. I know I can sometimes think about myself at times, but I know that when i start thinking like that, i need to snap out of it, and ask  What can I do to stop thinking of my needs and start thinking about the needs of others!  

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