I have come to realize!

I have come to realize, that you cannot find your true identity in another person., You cannot find your purpose in them. Your purpose and your identity comes from HIM!!! I always knew this. I always thought that I was doing this, finding my identity in HIM, but I was wrong. I put other things and others in front of my FIRST and TRUE love. This has been something that I had to change. I have come back to my first love. It talks about this in the Bible! and I had done it without really noticing! But God is a God of grace and mercy! I am happy to say that I am finding my first love again! God has been speaking in awesome ways! Through many different avenues. I will post a few links at the bottom of some awesome sermons that I have listened to. They helped me realize that our relationship with God is first! Is #1! When we put HIM first and forefront in our life, everything else falls into place! I truly believe that God is redeeming me and shining His grace on me, and walking beside me like never before. I have a new found hope! And I know that this year will be a great year! A great year in me, my kids, with my marriage, and in ministry. I am blessed to have a good God who watches over me and who brings me back and who pulls me up when I am down, and who speaks when you press in to find Him! I really pray you are as blessed as I was listening to these sermons!!

http://www.preachitteachit.org/about-us/the-team/francis-chan/sermons/sermon-detail/resource/sermon/Christ-Centered-Relationships-Part-One/

http://www.preachitteachit.org/about-us/the-team/francis-chan/sermons/sermon-detail/resource/sermon/Christ-Centered-Relationships-Part-Two/

http://www.preachitteachit.org/about-us/the-team/francis-chan/sermons/sermon-detail/resource/sermon/Marriage-The-Picture-of-Christ-and-His-Church/

There was one more, but dont know how to put it here, since I listened through Itunes.... But this is a good start! and very good!

Matthew 6:33 (NIRV)

 ³³ "But put God's kingdom first. Do what he wants you to do. Then all of those things will also be given to you.

Ask and ye shall receive!

God has been speaking to me so clearly lately! Lately I have been really trying to push in and seek and ask of the Lord. When we ask, we receive! I was driving home from church last night and it was a great time of talk and study of the message that was preached on Sunday! But as I drove home I had to stop and pray. I needed forgiveness for my attitude toward God and the call that was on my life. I know that God called me but I was just at a place in my life that I didn't want to any more!!!  I was being stubborn and letting my attitude overshadow what God wants to do! My awesome preacher husband, talked about this in his sermon this past Sunday, and as I drove home, I knew I was being stubborn and needed a change of heart! I know God has a plan, but my attitude was in the way! Something was said last night at our group study that hit HARD. sometimes we are always trying to DO on our own, when we need to sit back and listen for God to lead! I have NOT been doing that. I need to wait on God, to seek HIM and to wait to hear from HIM! What does He want me to do? What does HE want from me? I know I need to trust HIM, depend on HIM in EVERY area of my life. I have been trying to do it on my own for a while, and I need to place all my trust in HIM, lay every burden down and LEAVE it at HIS feet! He says "take my yoke for it is easy!" He wants to help us, but it is usually us who don't allow Him to! We always want to do it on our own. I had to apologize for not trusting HIM, for trying to do it on my own, for being stubborn and not wanting to go on, for just wanting to give up! I know HE has great things for my life and the life of my family and the church! I have to be willing to trust HIM and depend on HIM and HE will work! He will move! I need to seek HIM again with my whole heart again. I need to praise HIM for who HE is! I do have so much to be thankful for! I have life! I have breath! I have HIM!!! I have a healthy family! I have salvation! I have HIS LOVE! Why don't I just let HIM!!!! God wants to move! I need to get out of the way and let HIM!

1 Peter 2:4-5
Christ is the living Stone. People did not accept him. But God chose him. God places the highest value on him.

 ⁵ You also are like living stones. As you come to him you are being built into a house for worship. There you will be holy priests. You will offer spiritual sacrifices. God will accept them because of what Jesus Christ has done.

So i am going to continue in 1 Peter 2. Above you see the two verses. Here in the first verse you see that Christ is the living stone! When Christ was off preaching not all accepted Him and we still see that today, that some just do not accept that He was the Son of God! No matter what we think or what we do or if we accept Him as Christ or not, God still chose Him and placed Him with high  value. Christ is the most valuable possession any one can have!! 

It goes on to say in the next verse that we too are like living stones. We are being build and made into a house of worship unto God. We are valuable to God as well!He loves us and wants good for us. We need to let Him make us into what he wants. And God will accept our sacrifices of praise to Him because of what Christ did for us on the cross! 

Think on these things....

I have been having some great days. I have not felt down in a while. Today being a slight exception. I have been trying to push out any negative thoughts using the word of God! The main verse I think on is from Philippians 4:8. "finally brothers, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things"
This is my go to verse for right thinking or thinking positive instead of negative. This is on my mind today!!!

1 Peter 2

I think I am going to start going through 1 Peter 2. There is a lot of good stuff in there and I dont want to make one blog too long, like a few of my others have been VERY long :)  I will start with the first 3 verses.

¹ So get rid of every kind of evil. Stop telling lies. Don't pretend to be something you are not. Stop wanting what others have. Don't speak against each other.

 ² Like babies that were just born, you should long for the pure milk of God's word. It will help you grow up as believers. ³ You can do it now that you have tasted how good the Lord is.

The first verse is starting off saying get rid of every kind of evil in your life. Don't tell lies... Don't pretend to be something else that you are not, don't want what others have and don't speak badly against each other. These things mentioned can be pretty hard to do. This is not an inclusive list of "evil" things we can do... So... why are these ones only here? Well could be because the people he was writing to needed to hear this because these were the things they were struggling with... I think that the things that are listed are everyday struggles too. Everyday we struggle with lying! I think that is one of the BIGGEST ones we do struggle with and we don't normally think about it we just kinda lie.... sometimes its only a "white lie" or little lie... but a lie is a lie and truth is the truth. We have to try and be real with people and truthful with people and ourselves. People don't want to see fake people, they want to see real people. One way we can be real is by telling the truth. Another thing listed is "don't pretend to be something you are not". I think many do this because they are afraid that people are not going to like the "real you" so you pretend to be "better" than yourself, but to tell you the truth, no one can be better at being you than YOU! You need to see what God sees and love the you the He made you to be! There is a reason He made you YOU and not someone else! Be yourself and love yourself because you are a special creation that God made and He made you with purpose! You have special talents that God wants to use! You are special and loved by God!!! Stop wanting what others have! Remember the 10 commandments? this is on there! This is called coveting! You can covet a lot of things that are someone else's. From just stuff to other things! But God wants to bless you with and in your own life! The neighbor might have that great car, but they might not have the best family life.... the grass might LOOK greener on the other side, but normally its not.... Be thankful for what you have, work hard for what you want to get, and be good stewards of time and money! Another hard one that people struggle with on a day to day basis is talking about others. Its called GOSSIP! I know that many woman (but not limited to woman!!!) struggle with this. I know that I do too. Its easy to fall into this. You go to salon and people are talking about someone else and you know something that no one else does, and its easy to want to blab it out to everyone. Taming the tongue is hard to do! But we need to realize that we NEED TO! Words can hurt people! And even if someone has wronged us we shouldn't be talking about it. Let God take care of them! It will be a bigger blessing than you would ever realize! You wont hurt anyone if you keep your mouth quiet and think about the golden rule on this one "do unto others as you would want them to do to you". Do you want to be talked about?? probably not, so try not to do it to others!! It goes on to say what we should long for, the pure milk  of God's word! We should long for the words in the Bible because they are God's words! They are life giving words! They are words that help when we are down! They are words that will build us up and not tear us down! Just like a baby longs to eat and it comforts them, and nourishes them as they grow, the word of God should do the same for us!!! It should strengthen us, it should comfort us, and help us grow in godly character! You should want the word daily and long for it in your life especially after tasting how good God can be! and knowing and experiencing His love first hand!!! Get in the word, it will change your life in the best way ever! It can turn your life around, it can uplift you and pull you out of a dark hole! You just need to dig in and give God's words a chance and you will see a difference!!

rocks cry out?

⁴⁰ “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19:40


I was riding in the car this morning bringing my kids to school. My oldest asked me a question: "mommy, why does God make this bad weather?" The weather this morning was blowing and snowy, and our car was all over the road. It was also slippery. Trying to answer such a question to a 7year old where he actually understands what you are trying to say is kind of hard... I was trying to tell him that the weather isn't always caused by God and that sometimes the earth is crying out to its creator. Sometimes growing up in the church and learning different verses when a child, the childlike illustrations stay in your head and you have to rethink and get a more mature look at a verse! THIS WAS MY AH-ha! moment for this verse. When I was a child I always saw this verse as the rocks growing mouths and actually praising God! I am sure that if God wanted that to actually happen it would, and would definitely be a wake up call to many out there!!! but that isn't what it is saying, this i am pretty sure about. I now see that the storms and the earthquakes and all the other natural disasters that have been happening, are this verse coming to life. That is how the "rocks cry out". Now lets just look at this verse in a whole. It was at the time when Jesus came to Jerusalem as King. The people were putting their coats on the ground and yelling and shouting "praise the Lord!!" The pharisees told Jesus to make them stop and be quiet and then Jesus says the above verse! Some questions come to mind. ( I think in question form!). Why would the rocks cry out? well, it says above if the people didn't praise or if they kept quiet. So does that relate to our lives today? I think so! I think that this is a huge wake up call to us today. Here in America, Jesus, the word, and prayer is being taken out of EVERYTHING! it is a separation of church and state, to the extreme, I feel. Meaning: if we are not allowed to pray certain places, or worship certain places, and the 10 commandments are being taken down from everywhere, and also just the overall nation has gone so far from being God centered to being man centered as well. But with all this happening, we are not praising God, We are told to be quiet and we are! We are doing as we are told because we don't want to offend. Well, the rocks will cry out if we don't! How do the rocks cry out? Well, I think that we are seeing more earthquakes and there are many more storms than there have been. Its not that God is making all these things happen to punish us or anything (this is my thoughts here!  if you disagree then that is fine, but this is how i feel), but that the earth is crying out to the one who created it. Why don't we start crying out in praise to our creator more!? I think that we need to start sincerely seeking God again and calling out to Him! He is worthy to be praised! He is the only reason we exist and our main focus should be Him and praising Him! In college (christian school) one of our classmates wrote a worship song that said "hallelujah, hallelujah, no rock will cry for me!!" It was a great song, and just reminded me that we need to take time and praise Him! I have gone through some stuff and it totally took my focus off of HIM! I was focusing on issues that I couldn't handle and I couldn't and didn't want to ever deal with, but my eyes were totally off God and totally off praising God through the storms of life. I was praying and crying out to Him and saying WHY GOD! but my heart was totally on MY issue. I am happy to say that after I fasted for a couple days my view is back on HIM. (I now know that fasting is something I have been missing and lacking in my life and that I needed real change and that real deep change comes sometimes through fasting! If you feel like your prayers are hitting a wall: try fasting!!!!) We need to always remember the verse above and we don't want the rocks to cry out because we are not doing so! Plus He is SO worthy. Always remember what God has brought you through! Always remember the way God has moved in your life! It will get you through, and always remember to praise through it. I forgot and totally went down hill. I feel God gives us verses at certain times for a reason. I don't think that I have REALLY praised God in a true way in a while! I know that I need to start looking at God and seeing His love and His glory and all the good things that He has give me and done for me and just praise Him because He is what this life is about: living a life that pleases HIM and living showing others HIS love and bringing others TO HIM!
be blessed 

When God speaks

Wow, It seems like when God speaks, Sometimes He YELLS! I have decided this past week to really seek God. I was seeking healing and help. God spoke first by giving me a verse. I thought about this verse and God spoke in a new way through this verse that really took  me by surprise. (Matthew 25:23). Since then, God has been speaking through other areas as well, including a sermon from a well known preacher who I like to listen to when i have time. Some days I get to listen when its posted on Facebook, some days I don't get to. As I put in a post before, sometimes the things God wants you to do are  not easy, but sometimes it is the best thing to do. I know what God has said to me, but some times its a fear thing. I don't want to do things that I know God has told me to do. But I do know that it will help and that it is what God is leading. I know that if I am obedient He will help and bless it. It is usually a fear thing, and I am afraid, But obedience is KEY in this walk of faith. I know that I have lost a lot from where I was a few years ago. I want to get back to right standing with God. I NEED to! I cannot live in depression.  I cannot live in bondage, and I want to be set free! God help me! I  need it! Eph 4:15

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the 
shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your 
rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me.

~ Psalm 138:8




I guess this is how i feel at times. I know God will work out His plan for my life, He is faithful in His love, and His love will endure forever. But at times we all feel abandoned, not just by God but by everyone who is or was ever in our life. We know we are not alone, but we feel abandoned and left all on our own to try and make it through life. 
I have been everywhere with my emotions lately, and as you read earlier, i have been VERY down. I don't like how i have been. I want change, but sometimes I need to recognize that I have to be willing to do the work that comes with change. I need to get with God and need to make HIM a priority in my life. I make everyone and everything else a priority, but its time to make my relationship with HIM a priority again. I also need to recognize the things that I run to every time something goes wrong (food) and stop running to that and instead run to God. I have already gotten some verses that I need to think about and talk about, but not here not at this point. sorry. lol I know God wants to heal me, but I need to be willing to listen and do what He wants even if hard. I have an idea of where God is going, but it wont be easy, but I need to be willing to follow, listen and obey. 

this goes nicely with my last blog.... you fight to let it all go and yet you fight to hold it... what will win?

give it up!

how do you give something up? I try and then I always wonder if I actually gave it up, because issues come back to mind, or you hurt again from something... so really... how do you truly give something up to God where it doesn't affect you anymore... where it doesn't come back to haunt you anymore.... where you are free from the bondage and just living life not thinking about anything that was an issue.... I do agree with this picture though. God wants us to give up our pain and hurts and give them over to Him, but we usually ( not intentionally most times) tend to hang on and hold our hurts. I think that we do this because we think that if we do this it will protect us. It will help us NOT get hurt again. We relive and try to carry it which also makes us build a wall so people cant get in. Our guard is up, we wont let anyone in so that we don't get hurt again! That is our normal human response it seems. God doesn't want us to respond like that though. He wants us to be willing to trust HIM enough to heal and to move on so that God can use us and make something beautiful of our life. He wants to use us to help others. He knows that if we just give it over to HIM we will experience a peace like we have never felt. He knows that we will feel free, and lighter. He wants us to give our burdens and cares to HIM for his yoke is light and easy! Ours might be heavy and hard to carry but He wants us to trust Him, hand it over and make us lighter and free! So why is it so hard to just give our cares and worries to Him? He just wants to help us, why wont we let Him? Lord teach me how to just give it over to you!

why so downcast O my soul? put your faith in God!

As we go along in life, in a perfect world (maybe if still in the garden of Eden...Another topic for another day...) We would be happy all the time, we would sing praises all day to God and have no worries, no cares, and never be down and out. Oh how life would be different.....  BUT it is not a perfect world. We live in a fallen world, where we have an enemy who wants us down and out, who wants us to feel lonely, depressed, and like no one is there! He wants us to silently suffer, afraid of what others might think or say so that we can fall into a sea of depression and be swallowed by the worries and lies of this world. The simple truth is: we all get down and depressed. Some more severe than others, but we have all felt alone, and down, and like we have no one! Recently I have been feeling this way. I know that the enemy of this world, would love for me to stay this way. I don't want to stay like this! I have been trying to fight these feelings of worthlessness, depression, loneliness, and fear! It is a hard thing sometimes. Some-days are good; I am fine. But others I just feel so down as if I am in a pit and cant see the light, cant climb my way out and like I have no other way out other than sitting in this dark pit crying out for help, but no one around to hear (that is how I feel when I am down...) I guess I have never felt this down before in my life. Usually, I am a pretty happy person, so I am not a fan of feeling like this, AT ALL! I want to feel good, and happy.
I am not writing all this to say its OK to feel like this, I am not writing this to make anyone feel bad, I am writing because I want people to know that others go through this too! You are not alone! I know in the back of my mind somewhere that I am not alone, but sometimes the feeling of despair, fear, worthlessness, etc takes over where it clouds my view of reality. It makes me feel alone. I cannot tell many about how I feel, for certain reasons (gossip, church expectations etc) and that is why I choose to write so no one knows who this is. I like to be anonymous so I can be open and the people who need what I have to write will read and know there is someone who is going through the same thing! I write because it is a great outlet and way of saying how I feel without being judged. I know there are many out there who go through depression. One of the greatest men who ever lived, went through it. He was a great man of God, He messed up, but always came back to the one who truly loves him! This man was called God's beloved! He was in a position of power, he was king! He had it ALL!! But king David also went through periods of time where he was alone, searching for God because he didn't feel Him close.
Psalm 13 says ¹ Lord, how long must I wait? Will you forget me forever? 
      How long will you turn your face away from me? 
 ² How long must I struggle with my thoughts? 
      How long must my heart be sad day after day? 
      How long will my enemies keep winning the battle over me? 
 ³ Lord my God, look at me and answer me. 
      Give me new life, or I will die." 

and then Psalm 42 

 ⁹ I say to God my Rock, 
      "Why have you forgotten me? 
   Why must I go around in sorrow? 
      Why am I beaten down by my enemies?" 
 ¹⁰ My body suffers deadly pain 
      as my enemies make fun of me. 
   All day long they say to me, 
      "Where is your God?" 
 ¹¹ My spirit, why are you so sad? 
      Why are you so upset deep down inside me? 
   Put your hope in God. 
      Once again I will have reason to praise him. 

      He is my Savior and my God.

 This great man of God felt forgotten, sad, beat down, etc. But if you look at these passages in its entirety, it says "PUT YOUR HOPE IN GOD!"  (chapter 42)

In chapter 13, even though David feels as if God has turned away and is struggling, and is sad, He ends the chapter with hope, and faith!!! and Even though he FEELS pain, and despair he KNOWS God still loves him, he KNOWS that there is hope! 

⁵ But I trust in your faithful love. 

      My heart is filled with joy because you will save me.
 ⁶ I will sing to the Lord.
      He has been so good to me.

Sometimes we may FEEL down but remember and KNOW that God still loves us, He is still there for us, and HE will be our strength and get you through whatever you feel. Sometimes we need to ignore what we feel and focus on GOD! Get in the word, and read about faith and hope! The word of God is a word of LIFE! It restores our soul when we feel downcast and down! Don't let the depression swallow you. Read, pray, talk to someone you are close with and ask for extra support and strength in getting through a hard time! I truly hope that people who read my blog enjoy and get help and hope from what is said. I write because it helps me and it can offer help and hope to those around. No one is truly alone, we have a God who is closer than we think and we just need to remember Him, I know that He has been my strength getting through things. There have only been a few people who I could/can talk to about deep issues and I thank them for that! Be blessed today! 

• 
  

trust HIM!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5


There is a reason the Bible tells us not to depend on our own understanding! Our understanding is limited by our humanness, by our sinful nature, by our fears or doubts... But when we trust in HIM with all our hearts we let God do the work, and we let our faith rise up. God's understanding is perfect. He knows it all! He knows what is going to happen. He is perfect and when we rely on HIM we are trusting, and have faith and letting Him be Lord of our life. We are surrendering our own will for HIS, our own understanding so that He can work and move in our lives! I want to depend fully on Him, my limited mind, body and will only goes so far, but He can carry us farther! when we acknowledge Him in all our lives He will direct our paths! 

strength where are you today?.............

You mustYou must think I'm strongTo give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive meForgive me if I'm wrongBut this looks like more than I can doOn my own
I know I'm not strong enough to beeverything that I'm supposed to beI give upI'm not stong enoughHands of mercy won't you cover meLord right now I'm asking you to beStrong enoughStrong enoughFor the both of us
Well, maybeMaybe that's the pointTo reach the point of giving up
Cause when I'm finallyFinally at rock bottomWell, that's when I start looking upAnd reaching out
I know I'm not strong enough to beEverything that I'm supposed to beI give upI'm not stong enoughHands of mercy won't you cover me[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/strong-enough-lyrics-matthew-west.html ]Lord right now I'm asking you to beStrong enoughStrong enough
Cause I'm brokenDown to nothingBut I'm still holding on to the one thingYou are Godand you are strongWhen I am weak
I can do all thingsThrough Christ who gives me strengthAnd I don't have to beStrong enoughStrong enough
I can do all thingsThrough Christ who gives me strengthAnd I don't have to beStrong enoughStrong enough
Oh, yeah
I know I'm not strong enough to beEverything that I'm supposed to beI give upI'm not stong enoughHands of mercy won't you cover meLord right now I'm asking you to beStrong enoughStrong enoughStrong enough

  

strong enough~ matthew west

strength from HIM

The LORD gives strength to those who are weary. 


Even young people get tired, then stumble and fall. 


But those who trust the LORD will find new strength. 


They will be strong like eagles soaring upward on wings; 


they will walk and run without getting tired.Isaiah 40:29-31♥♥♥

Love the word of God. He knows what we need to hear sometimes. I am so happy that God gives strength when we need it! I get tired and just sometimes need strength in many areas. The thing is, sometimes I need strength that I cannot find with in myself! I need a strength that can only come from God! I am so happy that I have a loving heavenly father that cares so much for me and knows when I  need strength! Who knows exactly when I need encouragement and sends a verse my way that speaks to me in a very personal and profound way! Only God knows exactly what we are going through, He alone knows our deepest thoughts, and can see our heart! I Trust in Him, I know that my faith is being restored and that I am drawing closer to him. I am blessed to be restored with new strength! 

Sometimes we need that strength that only God can give. I need that strength of walking and running with out getting tired. This life that we live can be tiring and draining: emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually.... But if we trust in HIM HE will give us new strength, a strength like an eagle soaring, a strength of running through this life and not getting tired!!! Lord, I pray for that strength! That I will keep my trust in you, and that everything that happens, will be used for YOUR glory and that there will be a good outcome to everything that comes my way, whether good or not SO good. 

Put your trust in Him and HE will give you the strength for the journey!!!